kelsey 👑

gohomemccall:

my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop

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he takes it to company meetings

I’ve been told he has received many compliments

studip:

real talk the first place id hit up during the purge is the pet store u gonna see me on the street with 50 puppies on leashes

thesorrovv:

ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have

fuckyesliampayne:

justiceandromance:

alex-is-fab:

gay-on:

Girls that love gay guys but are disgusted by lesbians.

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Guys that love lesbians but are disgusted by gay guys.

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Anyone who is disgusted by anyone because of their sexual preference.

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SOCKS AND FLIP FLOPS

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thefaultinourunicorns:

plot twist: your teacher accidentally calls you mom

human:

this picture is life

human:

this picture is life

witneyhouston:

checkmate 

witneyhouston:

checkmate 

killadamsandler88888888888888999:

like ten years ago i drew a comic strip entitled “if the president were a moth” in which the president is a human sized moth watching the olympics and when they light the torch it flies off in pursuit of it and then two cia guys stand up and shout “MR. PRESIDENT!!!!!!!” i was really ahead of my time

mybeautifulidiot:

*settles into bed with blankets laptop headphones a drink and everything* ahh yes perfect. I have to pee. 

dumbyana:

WHAT A CUTE OLD MAN AW LOOK AT HIS FACE

dumbyana:

WHAT A CUTE OLD MAN AW LOOK AT HIS FACE