my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop
he takes it to company meetings
I’ve been told he has received many compliments
real talk the first place id hit up during the purge is the pet store u gonna see me on the street with 50 puppies on leashes
ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have
Girls that love gay guys but are disgusted by lesbians.
Guys that love lesbians but are disgusted by gay guys.
Anyone who is disgusted by anyone because of their sexual preference.
SOCKS AND FLIP FLOPS
plot twist: your teacher accidentally calls you mom
this picture is life
like ten years ago i drew a comic strip entitled “if the president were a moth” in which the president is a human sized moth watching the olympics and when they light the torch it flies off in pursuit of it and then two cia guys stand up and shout “MR. PRESIDENT!!!!!!!” i was really ahead of my time
*settles into bed with blankets laptop headphones a drink and everything* ahh yes perfect. I have to pee.
WHAT A CUTE OLD MAN AW LOOK AT HIS FACE